whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
