hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
