Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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