apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sundayâ€
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