someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
