I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
