My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
