marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
