There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
