When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Drunk is not a location!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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