awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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