woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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