I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
