Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
