i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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