yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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