i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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