I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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