After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Randomize
