I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
