A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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