He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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