This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
