I wanna bring you to show and tell
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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