PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
