forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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