The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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