Sry I called you an 8
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
