I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
