why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
