the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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