i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
