Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
