it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I can't turn off my feet"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
