One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
