Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
