I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
