She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
