all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
