i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
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