You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He passed out mid-signature
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
