You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
