well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
