I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
