Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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