Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
