I murdered the dance floor call the cops
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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