Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
