Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
