I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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