so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
