This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
All I want is dick and wine.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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